Skip to main content

About your Search

COM 19
English 19
Search Results 0 to 18 of about 19 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Oct 26, 2012 7:30pm PDT
the election! maybe we'll fwaukt selection, which you may have heard is happening, 12 days from now in the great state of ohio. (laughter) i'm not sure if any other states are voting this year, but candidates are beginning to make their closing arguments. and if i could frame them through lyrics and music of the great britney spears, barack obama is saying to the electorate, hit me baby, one more time. (laughter) whereas mitt romney is perhaps suggesting, i'm a genie in a bottle. (laughter) really, they're not sung by the same person, are you sure? no, they are sung by the wonders that judge on the talent show. there's two music talent shows? i have got to get myself a zune. (laughter) what are we talking about? oh, yeah, mitt romney's closing arguments. >> the government of the united states is not a good venture capitalists, he likes to pick winners and losers, about $90 billion in green energy companies like solyndra and tess la a friend of mine says he doesn't mind picking winners and losers, he likes picking losers. >> half of them, the ones invested in have gone out of busines
Comedy Central
Nov 1, 2012 10:00am PDT
of democracy are still pure. middle school elections. (laughter) we set out to ruin that by sending john oliver and a documentary crew to take over an eighth grade student council election. i present to you part one of our new three-part series "the strategist." >> woodcliff middle school was in full campaign mode as two very different candidates ran for class president. >> my name is kyle pearlman. >> i'm loren, i'm 13, i'm in eighth grade. >> i'm running for student council president. >> strategist john oliver's first task was picking which candidate to work with. for some advice on how to make his choice he turned to grizzled 25-year campaign consultant mark o'hara. >> most consultants are concerned about two things and two things only: winning the campaign and making sure they get paid. >> oh, that's great. >> it's simple. >> that makes my job a whole lot easier. loren, why do you want to be president? >> well, i really want to focus on anti-bullying so it just is completely eliminated from the school. >> um -- just bragging rights. (laughter). >> jon: would you describe yourself as a popul
Comedy Central
Oct 29, 2012 10:00am PDT
elections will be over. [laughter] that's not all that's coming to an end. jessica williams has more. >> in 2004, a fresh-faced new artist burst on to the scene. >> there is not a liberal america and a conservative america. there is the united states of america. >> barack obama. from there it was a string of chart toppers. >> fired up. >> fired up. >> ready to go. yes we can. this election has never been about me. it's about you. >> he was a sensation. but recently obama made a startling announcement. >> this is my last political campaign. >> yes, come november 6th, it's over. with just one last chance to catch this great artist, we weren't going to miss it. >> i'm so excited to be here. >> yeah, i'm kind of like an audacity of hope girl. >> for me the new stuff will never live up to the classic. >> change you can believe in gave me hope for the future for my children. >> lowell, hello. change you can believe in got me pregnant with my second child. >> we've also had a lot of momentum, a lot more dynamic. this time he's more chill. >> i love the economy's chasing strong head headwind
Comedy Central
Nov 1, 2012 11:00pm PDT
the numbers, studied this election's metrics and decided that the only electoral votes of consequence in 2012 are the 18 that reside in the great state of ohio. while the rest of us are free to pursue work, family, recreation, ohioans must reconcile their role as this year's --. >> there's more money being spent on political ads in ohio than in any other state. 181 million dollars so far, in columbus, more than 6600 ads just this month. that's 333 a day. for sue and jack mckittrick of dublin, ohio, the barrage begins before day break. she's undecided. he support as romney. >> the ads are continuously from 5:00 in the morning until we go to bed at night. >> jon: and that's when the dream ads start. (laughter) are you happy o bama and romney! you're killing the mckittricks! you know they just got married three months ago. (laughter) and now look at them! they're in their mid 20s. you're killing them! (cheers and applause) these ohio political ads zap your youth, they drain your vigor. out of the same hole they used to zap your youth. the cloaca i think it's called. >> obama took gm and chrysler
Comedy Central
Oct 29, 2012 11:00pm PDT
campaigns. these campaigns are finally making their closing statements of this election. john oliver, let's start with you. what is obama campaign's closing speech and pitch to the american people? >> simply this, john. the obama camp feels the choice is simple. maybe obama hasn't been the president you wanted him to be. perhaps he didn't meet the high expectations he set himself. but the other guy, jon, is a total dick! (cheers and applause) i mean that. jon, he's a six-foot shaft with tiny ballses for feet. he may not fire you himself but you know that when he's looking at you he's unemploying you with his eyes. (cheers and applause) now, if you will excuse me, jon, i'm going to stare at aasif while he's talking, thereby dominating him visually. (laughter). >> jon: well, all right, seems like a relatively low-brow closing argument from the obama campaign. aasif, you've been with the romney campaign. what's their closing argument? >> well, what do you want it to be? (laughter) (cheers and applause) look, jon, um, mitt romney has been running for president for seven years. these are two s
Search Results 0 to 18 of about 19 (some duplicates have been removed)